munirah and hayati

lesson from a stranger

2010-10-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

I write to you as someone who is going through many of the things I am sharing with you. I am learning that when we lack a sense of self-love; we are sometimes predisposed to certain patterns. That is, we enter into situations knowing intuitively that we should not; yet, we do so for fear of being alone. We also move heart first into marriage with people whom we were warned about. Becoming a Muslim does not mean that you have to settle for anyone because you think it is a part of humility. Far too often Sisters accept too little Islam from their perspective mates, too little mahr, and too little of a man because we think that is what is expected of a Muslim.

I know now that I moved forward into a marriage without asking enough questions and without patience in Allah. I have learned through my own search for clarity, that my need to be with someone sets the stage for my current "meantime" experience. I learned that in my "meantime", my direct internal conflict was a direct result of my failure to tell the truth to others and myself.

The "meantime" does not need to be a negative experience. Also, it does not have to be a set period of time. Rather, it is the time to get clear about what you want and need. It is also a time to attain a deeper awareness of yourself and others. In my reading, the "meantime" is defined as, "a therapeutic review of your beliefs, ideas, and perceptions of what love is all about". When the divine reason for the meantime union has been fulfilled or when you have learned what Allah wants you to learn- you have incorporated into your life the true understanding of what marriage is. It is at this point that you will move into exactly where you need to be and with whom you need to be. A dear older Muslim sister told me that, "once we can rid ourselves of foolish love, we can have real love with our spouses. Once we give up the notion that someone belongs to us, we can enjoy the time we have with them."

Only through asking for clarity and truly looking at our experiences as lessons, can we move into the following phases known as the "Enlightenment Process". This information is not a formula for life- that's Islam. But, it can assist one in seeking better answers. The first phase is called Detachment. This is the development of the conscious ability to see you and others. The next stage is Discernment. More than an ability to see, discernment is being able to understand what you are looking at and how it relates to you. Once you can see and understand you reach the next phase-Enlightenment. The next step is Integration. This is the active part of the enlightenment process. You must now take the information you have and integrate it into your life. As you do, you reach the fifth and final stage, called Evolution. By practicing the trait or virtue you now know you must develop or embrace, you can proceed in your life making better choices and wiser decisions. Marriage is a relationship that has conditions that have to be there if it is to be successful. Use your common sense to see if all the criteria are present for a successful marriage. My dear sisters take the time to reflect over your relationships. With time, du'a, and Istikhara your self-reflection will become clear. Allah promises us in Surat-ul-Asr that only those of you who practice patience will not be lost with the passing of time.

i hope only those who really care will still visit this blog :)

2010-10-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

i have spent much of the past few days in a sad daze. i must be mourning for someone who is taken away from me every month.

alhamdulillah for faith and Allah's love; else I wouldn't know how else to be patient. I am also quite strong and sensible. after all, without knowing that i would have and love them, Allah has given me my mother, father, mek, tok ayah, my siblings, my husband.

today my mother & i watched a hindi movie & we both cried. we recalled some beautiful songs which probably served to shape (or colour) our notions of love. my mother's side of the family, or kelantan ppl in general; hv a penchant for hindustan music. if you tune in to a kelantan radio station and listen to modern kelantan pop songs - you will notice the influence. I have a cousin named after Mohd Rafi, the famous Hindi singer in the 60s. Anyway, I have definitely found Quranic recitals & purposeful nasyids as far more superior music than all the other beautiful songs.

Maybe because I am just in a nostalgic mood; i looked up my alltime favourite love song from the internet: oh ya, i know some people look down on hindi films and songs -yes they can be quite ridiculous in length and unrealism - but the best ones are just as beautiful as any other evergreen songs. I choose to appreciate beauty and make myself happy :)
This is by the late Mohd Rafi, of course..(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8W25QE02dM&feature=related)

Ye mera prem patra padh kar

Shall I write sweetly,or a beautiful or a stealer of hearts?
I am puzzled by what I should write to you in this letter.
After reading my love letter to you, don't get angry.....
because you are my life, you are someone I am bonded to..

I would have called you the moon, but it also had a scar..
I would have called you the sun, but it also had fire in it..
I am just going to say this to you; that I am in love with you.

I will consider you to be Ganga, I will consider you to be Jamuna (Names of rivers that are considered to be PURE in India)
You are so close to my heart that I will consider you mine.
.........
After reading my love letter to you, don't get angry.....
because you are my life, you are someone I am bonded to.

My Public Photos

2010-08-17T03:47:00.000-07:00

My Public Photos

E

2010-06-08T07:11:00.001-07:00

Aye

2010-06-02T07:27:00.001-07:00

the new golden age

2010-06-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

has anyone read ravi bhatra's new (old) book? he thrashes capitalism but there are some good points in his arguments. his theory of cyclism is fascinating. and tricklism economy truly doesnt work, look at msia! now, on to fighting corruption. emm..

oh ya while on the subject..some ppl hv the impression that i help write the stuff that my bosses come out with. this is absolutely not true. they are clever brilliant men who writes their own articles. this is different from my prev workplace ok. really glad i'm part of the new establishment! heh!

also some say i'm a liberal now. hmm somehow i'd rather be identified w the term libertarian, although labels are not my thang. i can change and evolve by the minutes ..so.

latest splurge!

2010-05-27T06:04:00.000-07:00

woops..apart from my sis & other 2 or 3 'sisters' who know of this blog - my boss recently discovered it, i think bcoz of my previous copy-paste job.. tsskk..anyway i know he's got no time to look at this blog again so i'm pretty much still a secret! oh, and meng seng! is that you following my blog on Google reader thing? he he I dont think u'll find anything interesting here. but you are welcome to drop by, who knows some day i'll be hit with a flash of inspiration and will actually write brilliant stuff? he he

2010-05-10T04:16:00.000-07:00

Sunday May 9, 2010
Looking to the past for inspiration
By TUNKU ABIDIN MUHRIZ and SHARYN LISA SHUFIYAN

IDEAS, which was launched recently by young people, hopes to restore the optimism of our great-grandfathers and bring freedom to each and every Malaysian.

THESE days it's normal for Malaysians to befriend and to form associations with one another abroad. In 1927, there were few Malayans in London but several young Malayans co-founded the Malay Students' Association of Great Britain.

They included two individuals by the name of Abdul Rahman. Their fathers were both monarchs of Malay States â€“ independent Kedah and the Federated Malay State of Negri Sembilan â€“ representing different traditions and experiences with modernity.
Great duo: Tuanku Abdul Rahman (left) with Tunku Abdul Rahman.

Kedah, with its history dating back to before the Siamese empire, was the most ancient and spiritual of the Malay States while Negri Sembilan, imbued with its Minangkabau traditions of constitutional democracy, federalism, female emancipation and individualist self-discovery (merantau), was one of the most progressive.

What both princes had in common was a yearning to see their countries develop and the lives of their people improved. Today, these two individuals are known as “Bapa Merdeka” and “the chap on our currency notes” respectively.

Symptomatic of the superficial way that history is taught in this country, there is little understanding of the ideological battles and numerous hardships they encountered. And there are those who would not care if this history was forgotten forever.

Being blood heirs of these two men who did so much to secure our free and independent nation, we were lucky to have unique access to their stories.

Sharyn on Tunku Abdul Rahman

I grew up as a complacent young girl. Only recently did I realise that I have some views of my own that are worth sharing with my fellow citizens. When I was given the opportunity to talk at the recent launch of the Institute of Democracy and Economic Affairs (IDEAS), I realised that as Tunku Abdul Rahman's great-granddaughter, I could propagate and promote his views and values that so few of us still remember.

The blogosphere has united me with a great-grandson of my great-grandfather's close friend, the first Yang di-Pertuan Agong Tuanku Abdul Rahman. We not only share a bond through our great-grandfathers, but also through our vision of a better Malaysia where democracy is upheld, justice is preserved, and the well-being of the people is ensured.
Sharing a vision: The writers, Sharyn Shufiyan and Tunku Abidin Muhriz, at the launch of IDEAS.

Abidin and I were privileged to have been exposed to democracy during our years abroad, and these experiences have shaped our world views.

Studying in New Zealand, I saw how the police assisted in public marches rather than crackdowns, the public can question and pressure the government and that public opinion matters. When the public had enough of Labour, they voted National â€“ without any dramatic legal proceedings! The media can play its independent role as the fourth estate, and public votes were not bought through bribery and business tenders.

Politics pre-Malaysia was not about race or power. It was about freedom and the people. May 13, 1969, has been allowed to become a tool of racist propaganda such that we forget the political motives behind the riots. Even the threat of communism was not one of race, as Malays were also involved. They framed their struggle as one against colonialism, even if some argue that their links with China represented a new imperialism. But this was an ideological, not a racial conflict â€“ as is being claimed by some Malays now.

During my early years, my contact with my great-grandfather was limited. Alas, if I had been older, I would have rained upon him question upon question, and chatted with him about politics, society in general and religion.

My great-grandfather was a Malay nationalist, citing that Malaysia is a Malay country but “it is up to the Malays themselves to play an active and constructive part in every aspect of society, to take up the challenge that brighter future offers, bearing always in mind that it is the Constitution, its spirit and its application, which is and will be the safeguard of the security and progress of us all”.

I believe it has now come to a point where non-Malays have as much right to this country as Malays, that special privileges should be awarded to those in need â€“ the poor, the oppressed, the stateless, the powerless â€“ regardless of race and religion. Government policies that were drawn up to help uplift the status of the Malay have-nots have been abused, giving rise to cronyism and nepotism.

Racial exclusivity is also a growing problem where people are only helping their own community. It is also disheartening that non-racial political parties also practise exclusivity.

The Democratic Action Party widely speaks in Mandarin and is intimidating to non-speakers who share their ideals while the Human Rights Party is very much Indian-oriented. Political parties should be accessible to all Malaysians. Malaysians have to work towards recognising merit and character instead of playing race politics and preferring connections over capability for business opportunities.

Tunku Abidin on Tuanku Abdul Rahman

Unlike Sharyn, I never met my great-grandfather. My father was only 12 years old when Tuanku Abdul Rahman passed away in the early morning of April 1, 1960. When the news was announced, some assumed it was an April Fool's Day joke, but the mood quickly turned sombre as the Federation of Malaya prepared for its first State Funeral. He had lived a full life, witnessing war and celebration, misery and splendour, ancient rites and modern industry.

As a boy he walked to school barefoot every day, picking his breakfast from fruit trees along the way. This humble attitude was later evident when, as King, he personally switched off all the lights in Istana Negara every night.

He was proclaimed the eighth Yang di-Pertuan Besar of Negri Sembilan in 1933, and administered the state with the generally cordial British advice. This was all to change after World War II.

During the Japanese Occupation, my great-grandfather was confined by the Japanese, forced to publicly approve of the replacement of one imperial power with another. When the British returned, he put his legal training â€“ he was the first Malay Ruler to be qualified as a barrister â€“ to good use as he fought the Malayan Union which was proposed by the new British Government.

Together with his brother Rulers, politicians and friends in the Malayan Civil Service from before the war, he fought the awful plan for centralisation until it was defeated. Indeed, Negri Sembilan provided the inspiration not only for the system of federation that replaced the Malayan Union, but also the system of elective monarchy that we continue to uphold.

Tunku Abdul Rahman wrote that he based this unique practice from Negri Sembilan's system of election and, in fact, the Reid Commission's minutes show that the proposed title for the Federal Head of State was Yang di-Pertuan Besar, changed only later to avoid confusion.

During the Emergency, my great-grandfather had a brush with death as communist terrorists attempted to murder him after derailing a train he was travelling in. If only I had the chance to ask him what was going through his mind at this and so many other pivotal points in history which he witnessed first hand.

I was, however, fortunate to know Tuanku Abdul Rahman's wife, the first Raja Permaisuri Agong Tunku Puan Besar Kurshiah. I did not appreciate her stature until her dying days: I remember clearly the doctor at the hospital where she was warded telling me his memories of her as Queen. And only recently did I find out that she was one of the ladies who donated her jewellery to support Tunku Abdul Rahman's mission to London to negotiate for Merdeka.

Thirty years after our great-grandfathers met in London, they shared a podium in the Merdeka Stadium as the first Head of GovernÂment read out the Proclamation of IndepenÂdence which had been endorsed by the first Head of State and his brother Rulers.

If they were alive today, we are sure that they would be surprised and deeply disappointed at how Malaysia is evolving. The language and tenor of politics has changed. Politicians no longer invoke the word “freedom”, as citizens endure restrictions in freedom of expression, controls on the media, limitations in peaceful activism and books disappearing from shelves.

The quest for unity is still languishing, 52 years after our ancestors adopted “Unity is Strength” as the federal motto. Optimism has been replaced by a strained hope that things will not degenerate further, as the government of the day battles to liberalise the economy and stem the emigration of increasing numbers of those it designates as “Malay”.

Hyperbolic statements of the threat of racial and religious violence have emboldened the exclusivist diatribes of one set of racists and extremists, and the once great institutions of our country have been hijacked, infiltrated and subdued to obey politicians who have achieved their positions through bribery, patronage and intimidation. The few good eggs that have survived the maelstrom are routinely sidelined, co-opted or threatened, even if their names are adorned by prefixes and post-nominals.

IDEAS

IDEAS seeks to reverse this trend, to restore the optimism of our great-grandfathers and above all to bring freedom â€“ Merdeka â€“ to each and every Malaysian. We have been accused of unrealistic romanticism, striving to recreate a time long gone and irrelevant to today's generation. But if the vision of the future is that of extremists, inspiration from the past is necessary and timely.

This mission is not exclusive to IDEAS â€“ there are many other organisations striving to achieve the same vision in their own ways: through charities and social enterprises, building schools and hospitals, empowering the marginalised and, yes, environmental conservation. After all, differences in methods and opinions must flourish in a healthy democracy.

And our ancestors believed in such differences because they valued parliamentary democracy, constitutional federalism, rule of law and individual liberty. They opposed global communism in favour of the free market and they understood the limitations of government. While we are proud to carry their blood, we are delighted to invite you to join us on a journey of rediscovery â€“ for, after all is said and done, every Malaysian is an heir of their legacies.

Tunku Abidin Muhriz is president of the Institute for Democracy and Economic Affairs (www.ideas.org.my). Sharyn Shufiyan is a programme coordinator at Wild Asia Sdn Bhd.

death is beautiful

2010-05-09T06:45:00.000-07:00

Death is Beautiful
Al-Mulk (The Sovereignty) Sura 67: Verse 2

"He Who has created death and life, so that He may put you to a test to show who of you is best in conduct. He alone is Almighty, Much-Forgiving."

Death is not the end of a life or the removal of life from living things or beings. Rather, it is something that is created, like life. God creates death in a living thing or being and so that thing or being dies. Since God's creation is at all times beautiful, death is also beautiful. This is because all human beings have an intrinsic feeling of eternity, and so feel imprisoned in the narrow confines of the material world as they yearn for eternity. This natural inclination towards eternal happiness comes from an objective reality: the existence of eternal life and our desire for it. Death is the door that opens onto eternity.

Although death seems to bring decomposition, extinguish life, and destroy pleasure, in fact, it represents a Divine discharge from the heavy duties of worldly life. It is no more than a change of residence, a transference of the body, and an invitation to and the beginning of everlasting life. It releases us from the hardships of this worldly life, which is turbulent, suffocating, narrow dungeon that gradually becomes harder with old age and illness, and admits us to the infinitely wide circle of the mercy of Eternal, Beloved One. There we may enjoy the everlasting company of our beloved ones and the consolation of a happy, eternal life.

The world is continually enlivened through acts of creation and death. Death leads to a more perfect life. The dying of plants, the simplest level of life, proves itself a work of Divine artistry, like their lives, but one that is more perfect and better designed. When the seed of a fruit dies in the soil, it seems to decompose and rot away. But in reality, it undergoes a perfect chemical process, passing through predetermined stages of re-formation, and ultimately grows again into an elaborate, new tree. So a seed's death is really the beginning of a new tree, a new, more perfect and elaborate life. Since the dying of plants is so perfect and serves so great a purpose, our deaths, given that we are the highest form of life, must be more perfect and serve a still greater purpose. Once we have gone underground, we certainly will be brought into eternal life. Those who believe and live righteous lives will be greeted with opened windows from the places reserved for them in Paradise.

Nothing, then, comes by blind coincidence or without purpose. Thus, man should always be on the alert, considering every thought and every action. He should not be oblivious to anything. God is certainly Almighty, but He is at the same time Much-Forgiving. When a person's heart is alert, aware that this life is a test, and tries to keep on the right track, he is reassured of God's forgiveness and grace. This gives man all the rest and comfort he needs.

The truth Islam establishes in people's hearts does not depict God as chasing humans to afflict or punish them. He only wants them to be aware of the purpose behind their existence and of their true nature. He wants them to rise to the level worthy of His honour when He blew of His own spirit into them, elevating them above many of His other creations.

Compiled From:
"The Quran: Annotated Interpretation in Modern English" - Ali Unal, pp. 1156, 1157
"In the Shade of the Quran" - Sayyid Qutb, Vol 17, pp. 134, 135

recognize israel?

2010-04-17T05:59:00.000-07:00

suggested by Tunku Aziz of DAP

decision

2010-03-28T04:10:00.001-07:00

there is one thing i keep putting off doing. i am not sure if delaying it is good for me, or if i'm making it worse to do it later on.

is it about work? personal life? studies? admitting i can't do so many things at once?

i hope i just hope i am not destroying my self in the process. hmm. (cheh, so dramatic kan, ha ha)

tweet !

2010-02-12T19:43:00.000-08:00

today a pleasant little surprise..ha ha..
i will tweet more intelligent lines from now on, and be more prolific at it i suppose? ;)

balm of my heart

2010-02-07T06:33:00.000-08:00

Know that the life of the world is only play, and idle talk, and pageantry, and boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children; as the likeness of vegetation after rain, whereof the growth is pleasing to the husbandman, but afterward it drieth up and thou seest it turning yellow, then it becometh straw. And in the Hereafter there is grievous punishment, and (also) forgiveness from Allah and His good pleasure, whereas the life of the world is but matter of illusion.

Race one with another for forgiveness from your Lord and a Garden whereof the breadth is as the breadth of the heavens and the earth, which is in store for those who believe in Allah and His messengers. Such is the bounty of Allah, which He bestoweth upon whom He will, and Allah is of Infinite Bounty.

No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a decree before We bring it into existence: That is truly easy for Allah

So that you may not grieve for what has escaped you, nor be exultant at what He has given you; and Allah does not love any arrogant boasterSo that you may not grieve for what has escaped you, nor be exultant at what He has given you; and Allah does not love any arrogant boaster

ubat di sini

being mummy

2010-01-22T20:41:00.000-08:00

i have decided to stash away my past years' gibberish. don't you feel embarassed sometimes by the level of nonsense in my updates? (except the famiily stuff, my family are never nonsensical okay)

since I don't have children yet and possibly because of my boasting and indifference about it lately - and husband works long hours, Ya Allah! I am getting lonely. I think I should adopt a 7 or 8 year old, coz I can't keep up with a baby.

so

but the paperwork! but isn't adopting a sunnah? zaid ibn harithah r.a, he was a boy help, right? the prophet's household didn't raise him from baby age.

and, since I will be spending more time with my child than my husband, a girl is better.

well i dont know yet, maybe i dont have the maturity and commitment for this kind of thing. hu hu.